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Morgen's 2008 Holiday Etiquette

Greet everyone at the house you are going to. Excessively large drunken parties are exempt from this rule. If there are people you don’t know, introduce yourself. People are surprisingly sensitive to whether or not they are acknowledged.

Do not talk badly about someone when they are in the same room with you, and most importantly, do not look at whoever you’re criticizing while you’re criticizing them. Comments like “Look at that camel-toe” or “What a lush” are easy to hear despite low tones—your body language says everything.

Do not talk badly about someone who is not present because someone in the room may be offended. Do not talk badly about ex’s, in-laws, or other relatives. The only people who are exempt from this rule are the children of the ex’s and in-laws, ex-spouses of ex’s, and spouses of those being talked badly about.

The holiday season is not a good time to criticize religions of any kind. Remember the Golden Rule and what Thumper said.

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